Throughout my years growing up, I always felt normal… Normal family, normal friends, a generally ok life. I was happy until I was the age of understanding.
Now I just wish there were a simple way out, but there will never be such a way.
Instead I am left, feeling trapped in this life, slowly watching the ones I love decay and inevitably die. I wish I could feel happiness the way I had growing up, but I find it impossible to just pass by important facts of life, it would be as if I was pretending the negatives weren't there, until the next major life changing event.
My dear mother, I have caused her so much pain and stress, yet I cannot end it as it would make her worse, my dad also.
I just wish I could go sleep and never have to wake up.