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Fresh starts

A rough few years it has been, once, was blogging suggested but never did I consider it. However now, I feel suddenly interested in sorting my life out. I am unsure what kind of blog this will turn out to be, but I can promise quality.

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Happiness

Throughout my years growing up, I always felt normal… Normal family, normal friends, a generally ok life. I was happy until I was the age of understanding.

Now I just wish there were a simple way out, but there will never be such a way.

Instead I am left, feeling trapped in this life, slowly watching the ones I love decay and inevitably die. I wish I could feel happiness the way I had growing up, but I find it impossible to just pass by important facts of life, it would be as if I was pretending the negatives weren't there, until the next major life changing event.

My dear mother, I have caused her so much pain and stress, yet I cannot end it as it would make her worse, my dad also.

I just wish I could go sleep and never have to wake up.